7 Myths You Need To Know About Toddler Tantrums
Toddler tantrums seem to be a big topic of discussion around mothers’ groups and can also be a huge source of embarrassment for parents. If you are in that basket, here are 7 myths that surround toddler tantrums.
1. Sadly, this is very untrue and one of the most used pieces of advice passed around mothers groups and parents in general. Toddler tantrums will not necessarily go away on their own. In fact, if they are not dealt with properly, they continue well into the older years of childhood and even adolescence. Being equipped with the right tools to deal with toddler tantrums will ensure you discourage your child’s unwanted behavior and set them up nicely for their future.
2. Reasoning with a child during a tantrum is actually one of the most ineffective ways of getting your child to stop their behavior. Children are extremely worked up during a tantrum and will be unable to listen to reasoning and or gain control of their emotions to do as you please. The best solution is to take them to a quiet place to calm down, distract them with a different activity or just ignore them until they calm themselves down. Even better yet, learn to prevent the tantrums in the first place, which means you don’t have to deal with them at all (or at least very few of them).
3. Actually, prevention is better than cure. If children can learn to deal with their own emotions before overload happens, they will not need to have a tantrum. Another method is to learn what triggers a tantrum and learn the prevention techniques to support your child and help them avoid a tantrum happening.
4. Although I believe that children need to be taught right from wrong and discipline does come into that mix, I know that positive reinforcement can greatly impact your child that always uses negative reinforcement. Creating systems that encourage your child to behave appropriately may work a lot more effectively for your family and your child.
5. Most people will actually agree with this statement. However, in my years of working with children, I know this to be untrue. Tantrums do appear to come on without warning if you haven’t been observing your child and don’t know their triggers. It is actually quite easy to learn your child’s triggers and be able to predict a tantrum before it happens. This means you can either move them to a better location to deal with their meltdown or, even better, learn to prevent it before it happens.
6. I would love to tell you that this is actually true, but sadly, it isn’t. Children can learn quicker than you realize, and often with tantrums, the behavior can come about simply by getting what needs from their behavior, even if it has only happened once or twice. If you have ever given in to a tantrum, your child may try this method more frequently. With that said, however, it is not too late if you have done this, even constantly. The new behavior can be taught, and you can always start fresh with your child and begin to develop new habits around acceptable behavior.
7. Some of the time, this is true, and a child will have a tantrum to get something they want regardless of what you do or don’t do. In fact, a very high percentage of children will have at least one tantrum in their early life. However, if you notice that the behavior is a lot more frequent, you may be surprised that you or another key member of the family is displaying similar behavior. For example, do you notice your child yelling a lot, smacking, talking in a whingy voice? You may actually find out that this is learned behavior from someone else, maybe even you. Do you yell? That could be why your child is doing it too. Try to evaluate your own behavior if you are noticing behavior from your child that you do not like.